How to Not Get Laid Off!

I always read the CNNand FoxNews stories before I go to work to see if there are any I should run at work. I like to read the “How to Keep Your Job” stories and the stories done in connection with Careerbuilder.com because they are always fun and may help me one day in the future.

Today’s story on CNN is Don’t! Get laid off! And it is absolutely hilarious. Here are the 15 things they say NOT to do so you can keep your job.

1. “Don’t! Conduct business on the toilet”

2. “Don’t! Be the office downer”

3. “Don’t! Microwave fish in the office”

4. “Don’t! Go barefoot”

5. “Don’t! Set your ring tone to the Jonas Brothers”

6. “Do! Save smiley faces from Mom”

7. “Do! Keep your clothes on”

8. “Don’t! Get X-Rated”

9. “Dont! Be the boss’ new BFF”

10. “Don’t! Read your emails out loud”

11. “Do! Avoid kegstands on Facebook”

12. “Don’t! Give yourself a mani/pedi”

13. “Don’t! Take bathroom pix of coworkers”

14. “Don’t! Steal food”

15. “Don’t! Crank the Russian music”

Now, I admit that some of these are ridiculous …. like can you imagine someone in the newsroom pumping Russian music lol.

There are some that I admit I have done. I do go barefoot on occasion. After running around in heels for a few hours, when it’s time to start doing the hardcore writing, I kick them off to get comfortable and in writing mode. The GM came down one day and saw my bare-feet and told me “No shirt, no shoes, no paycheck”. Maybe I should rethink the no shoes. I think starting today, I’ll take a pair of flats and put them under my desk so I at least have something on them.

At one time, I had fun ringtones. Every time my phone rang, people looked at me. Since I got my Crackberry though, I’ve kept it simple. I can’t promise though that at Christmas I won’t put some tunes on my phone! Have to get in the spirit.

One that I never thought of was reading emails out loud. There are times when I get funny emails and read them to coworkers. From now on, maybe I should keep them to myself. Argghhh that’s going to be hard. I like to share funny stories 😦

I had to tell a coworker one time that she may want to take some provocative pics off of Myspace. Everyone in the newsroom checks Facebook and Myspace and I didn’t want the important guys to see them and get a bad impression of her. She was very grateful and took them off immediately. It made me feel like I saved someone. LOL! I’m such a simpleton.

I would NEVER cut my toe nails in front of people at work. That is absolutely disgusting lol. I always carry a nail file with me. If a nail breaks, I may file it. Maybe I’ll take it to the bathroom next time though so I’m not filing in people’s faces.

Do you do any of these? Or do you know someone that got let go and did these things? If so, let me know so I can spread the word:)

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2 Comments

Filed under Internet, Life

2 responses to “How to Not Get Laid Off!

  1. Oh, I totally take my shoes off at work! The first time I admitted that to my sister, she gave me the biggest death glare. Though my office is right by our main hallway at work, my desk goes all the way to the floor — so no one can see my toes poking out! 🙂 It’s just so much more comfortable. I haven’t exchanged words with anyone about it yet. 🙂

    Though I love her, my coworker does have an incredibly obnoxious ringtone… and I’ve never gottne up the courage to say something to her about it. Her kids text her all day long and the constant music playing sometimes makes me want to scream! But I make sure I have my iPod with me and try to ignore it in the name of office peace. 🙂

    • LOL I sit on my bare feet so people see them, but there are so many people in the newsroom who don’t wear their shoes that I just blend in 🙂

      I think people may get annoyed by my message tone at work. My fiance changed it to “Ninja” because he always says he’s a ninja and it’s just kind of a “BING” but everyone looks at me when it goes off. I have changed my ringtone to a big kid working ringtone, but you better believe it’ll be “Santa Baby” come Thanksgiving 🙂

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